gARTh's 2012 Movie Awards: Nominations

gARTh's 2012 Movie Awards

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NOMINATIONS

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The following is what I hope to be an all-encompassing list of nominated films, performances, and technical achievements for films released in the year 2012.

Links have been provided for further information on nominated films, songs, and to view images.

Please submit your votes by Monday February 18, 2013. Thank you for your participation.

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Film:

[ ]    Amour
[ ]    Argo
[ ]    Django Unchained
[ ]    Les Misérables
[ ]    Life of Pi
[ ]    Lincoln
[ ]    Looper
[ ]    Silver Linings Playbook
[ ]    Skyfall
[ ]    Zero Dark Thirty

Director:

[ ]    Ben Affleck - Argo
[ ]    Kathryn Bigelow - Zero Dark Thirty
[ ]    Michael Heneke - Amour
[ ]    Tom Hooper - Les Misérables
[ ]    Ang Lee - Life of Pi
[ ]    Sam Mendes - Skyfall
[ ]    David O. Russell - Silver Linings Playbook
[ ]    Steven Spielberg - Lincoln
[ ]    Quentin Tarantino - Django Unchained
[ ]    Benh Zeitlin - Beasts of the Southern Wild

Actor:

[ ]    Bradley Cooper - Silver Linings Playbook
[ ]    Daniel Day-Lewis - Lincoln
[ ]    Jamie Foxx - Django Unchained
[ ]    John Hawkes - The Sessions
[ ]    Dwight Henry - Beasts of the Southern Wild
[ ]    Hugh Jackman - Les Misérables
[ ]    Denis Lavant - Holy Motors
[ ]    Matthew McConaughey - Killer Joe
[ ]    Joaquin Phoenix - The Master
[ ]    Denzel Washington - Flight

Actress:

[ ]    Jessica Chastain - Zero Dark Thirty
[ ]    Marion Cotillard - Rust and Bone
[ ]    Keira Knightley - Anna Karenina
[ ]    Diane Kruger - Farewell, My Queen (Les Adieux à la reine)
[ ]    Jennifer Lawrence - Silver Linings Playbook
[ ]    Helen Mirren - Hitchcock
[ ]    Emmanuelle Riva - Amour
[ ]    Quvenzhané Wallis - Beasts of the Southern Wild
[ ]    Naomi Watts - The Impossible
[ ]    Mary Elizabeth Winstead - Smashed

Supporting Actor:

[ ]    Alan Arkin - Argo
[ ]    Javier Bardem - Skyfall
[ ]    Robert De Niro - Silver Linings Playbook
[ ]    Leonardo DiCaprio - Django Unchained
[ ]    John Goodman - Flight
[ ]    Philip Seymour Hoffman - The Master
[ ]    Tommy Lee Jones - Lincoln
[ ]    Michael Peña - End of Watch
[ ]    Sam Rockwell - Seven Psychopaths
[ ]    Christoph Waltz - Django Unchained

Supporting Actress:

[ ]    Amy Adams - The Master
[ ]    Judi Dench - Skyfall
[ ]    Ann Dowd - Compliance
[ ]    Sally Field - Lincoln
[ ]    Anne Hathaway - Les Misérables
[ ]    Helen Hunt - The Sessions
[ ]    Nicole Kidman - The Paperboy
[ ]    Kelly Reilly - Flight
[ ]    Maggie Smith - The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel
[ ]    Jackie Weaver - Silver Linings Playbook

Adapted Screenplay:

[ ]    Lucy Alibar & Benh Zeitlin - Beasts of the Southern Wild
[ ]    Simon Beaufoy - Salmon Fishing in the Yemen
[ ]    Stephen Chbosky - The Perks of Being a Wallflower
[ ]    Tony Kushner - Lincoln
[ ]    David Magee - Life of Pi
[ ]    William Nicholson - Les Misérables
[ ]    Gary Ross, Suzanne Collins & Billy Ray - The Hunger Games
[ ]    David O. Russell - Silver Linings Playbook
[ ]    Chris Terrio - Argo
[ ]    Tom Tykwer, Andy Wachwoski & Lana Wachowski - Cloud Atlas

Original Screenplay:

[ ]    Paul Thomas Anderson - The Master
[ ]    Wes Anderson & Roman Coppola - Moonrise Kingdom
[ ]    Mark Boal - Zero Dark Thirty
[ ]    Derek Connolly - Safety Not Guaranteed
[ ]    Drew Goddard & Joss Whedon - The Cabin in the Woods
[ ]    Michael Heneke - Amour
[ ]    Rian Johnson - Looper
[ ]    John Logan, Neal Purvis & Robert Wade - Skyfall
[ ]    Martin McDonagh - Seven Psychopaths
[ ]    Quentin Tarantino - Django Unchained

Editing:

[ ]    Argo
[ ]    Cloud Atlas
[ ]    Django Unchained
[ ]    End of Watch
[ ]    Les Misérables
[ ]    Life of Pi
[ ]    Lincoln
[ ]    Looper
[ ]    Skyfall
[ ]    Zero Dark Thirty

Cinematography:

[ ]    The Amazing Spider-Man
[ ]    Anna Karenina
[ ]    Cloud Atlas
[ ]    Django Unchained
[ ]    Dredd 3D
[ ]    Les Misérables
[ ]    Life of Pi
[ ]    Lincoln
[ ]    Prometheus
[ ]    Skyfall

Stuntwork:

[ ]    The Amazing Spider-Man
[ ]    The Bourne Legacy
[ ]    The Dark Knight Rises
[ ]    Dragon (Wu Xia)
[ ]    Haywire
[ ]    Marvel's The Avengers
[ ]    Premium Rush
[ ]    The Raid: Redemption
[ ]    Skyfall
[ ]    Total Recall

Art Direction:

[ ]    Anna Karenina
[ ]    Cloud Atlas
[ ]    Dark Shadows
[ ]    The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey
[ ]    Les Misérables
[ ]    Life of Pi
[ ]    Lincoln
[ ]    Prometheus
[ ]    A Royal Affair (En kongelig affære)
[ ]    Snow White and the Huntsman

Costume Design:

[ ]    Anna Karenina
[ ]    Cloud Atlas
[ ]    Dark Shadows
[ ]    Farewell, My Queen (Les Adieux à la reine)
[ ]    The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey
[ ]    Holy Motors
[ ]    The Hunger Games
[ ]    Les Misérables
[ ]    Lincoln
[ ]    Snow White and the Huntsman

Make-Up:

[ ]    The Cabin in the Woods
[ ]    Cloud Atlas
[ ]    Django Unchained
[ ]    The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey
[ ]    Holy Motors
[ ]    The Hunger Games
[ ]    Lincoln
[ ]    Looper
[ ]    Men in Black 3
[ ]    Prometheus

Visual Effects:

[ ]    The Amazing Spider-Man
[ ]    Cloud Atlas
[ ]    The Dark Knight Rises
[ ]    Dredd 3D
[ ]    The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey
[ ]    Life of Pi
[ ]    Marvel's The Avengers
[ ]    Prometheus
[ ]    Snow White and the Huntsman
[ ]    Total Recall

Sound Mixing:

[ ]    Cloud Atlas
[ ]    The Dark Knight Rises
[ ]    The Grey
[ ]    The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey
[ ]    Les Misérables
[ ]    Life of Pi
[ ]    Marvel's The Avengers
[ ]    Prometheus
[ ]    Skyfall
[ ]    Zero Dark Thirty

Music - Original Score:

[ ]    Mychael Danna - Life of Pi
[ ]    Alexandre Desplat - Zero Dark Thirty
[ ]    Danny Elfman - Silver Linings Playbook
[ ]    Jonny Greenwood - The Master
[ ]    Reinhold Heil, Johnny Klimek & Tom Tykwer - Cloud Atlas
[ ]    Nathan Johnson - Looper
[ ]    Dario Marianelli - Anna Karenina
[ ]    Dan Romer & Benh Zeitlin - Beasts of the Southern Wild
[ ]    Marc Streitenfeld - The Grey
[ ]    John Williams - Lincoln

Music - Original Song: (select link to listen)

[ ]    Adele, Paul Epworth & J.A.C. Redford - "Skyfall" - Skyfall
[ ]    The Arcade Fire - "Abraham's Daughter" - The Hunger Games
[ ]    The Civil Wars - "Kingdom Come" - The Hunger Games
[ ]    Mark Duplass & Ryan Miller - "Big Machine" - Safety Not Guaranteed
[ ]    Florence + the Machine & James Newton Howard - "Breath of Life" - Snow White and the Huntsman
[ ]    Hugh Jackman & Claude-Michel Schönberg - "Suddenly" - Les Misérables
[ ]    John Legend - "Who Did That to You?" - Django Unchained
[ ]    Mumford & Sons & Birdy - "Learn Me Right" - Brave
[ ]    Rick Ross & Jamie Foxx - "100 Black Coffins" - Django Unchained
[ ]    Paul Williams - "Still Alive" - Paul Williams Still Alive

Music - Use of Previously Recorded Song; Feature:

[ ]    The Animals - "Boom Boom" - Skyfall
[ ]    Luis Bacalov & Rocky Roberts - "Django" - Django Unchained
[ ]    Led Zeppelin - "When the Levee Breaks" - Argo
[ ]    M83 - "This Bright Flash" - Chronicle
[ ]    Nine Inch Nails - "Last" - The Cabin in the Woods

Music - Use of Previously Recorded Song; Trailer:

[ ]    Aerosmith - "Dream On" - Argo
[ ]    James Brown - "The Payback" - Django Unchained
[ ]    Françoise Hardy - "Le Temps De L'amour" - Moonrise Kingdom
[ ]    La Roux - "In for the Kill (Skream Remix)" - Dredd 3D
[ ]    Talking Heads - "Road to Nowhere" - Seeking a Friend for the End of the World

Animated Feature Film:

[ ]    Brave
[ ]    Frankenweenie
[ ]    From Up on Poppy Hill (Kokuriko-zaka kara)
[ ]    Hotel Transylvania
[ ]    Madagascar 3: Europe's Most Wanted
[ ]    ParaNorman
[ ]    The Painting (Le Tableau)
[ ]    The Pirates! Band of Misfits
[ ]    Rise of the Guardians
[ ]    Wreck-It Ralph

Documentary Feature Film:

[ ]    5 Broken Cameras
[ ]    The Central Park Five
[ ]    Chasing Ice
[ ]    How to Survive a Plague
[ ]    The Imposter 
[ ]    Marley
[ ]    Room 237
[ ]    Searching for Sugar Man
[ ]    This is Not a Film
[ ]    We Are Legion: The Story of the Hacktivists

Foreign Language Film:

[ ]    Amour - Austria
[ ]    Barbara - Germany
[ ]    Beyond the Hills (Dupa dealuri) - Romania
[ ]    Holy Motors - France
[ ]    The Intouchables - France
[ ]    Kon-Tiki - Norway
[ ]    Lore - Australia
[ ]    No - Chile
[ ]    A Royal Affair (En kongelig affære) - Denmark
[ ]    War Witch (Rebelle) - Canada

Animated Performance:

[ ]    Danny DeVito - The Lorax
[ ]    Kelly Macdonald - Brave
[ ]    Seth MacFarlane - Ted
[ ]    John C. Reilly - Wreck-It Ralph
[ ]    Alan Tudyk - Wreck-It Ralph

Villainous Performance:

[ ]    Javier Bardem - Skyfall
[ ]    Leonardo DiCaprio - Django Unchained
[ ]    Tom Hardy - The Dark Knight Rises
[ ]    Tom Hiddleston - Marvel's The Avengers
[ ]    Charlize Theron - Snow White and the Huntsman

Comedic Performance:

[ ]    Jack Black - Bernie
[ ]    Josh Brolin - Men In Black 3
[ ]    Kiera Knightley - Seeking a Friend for the End of the World
[ ]    Sean William Scott - Goon
[ ]    Channing Tatum - 21 Jump Street

Cameo / Bit-Part Performance:

[ ]    Johnny Depp & Peter DeLuise - 21 Jump Street
[ ]    Bob Gunton & Philip Baker Hall - Argo
[ ]    Viggo Mortensen - On the Road
[ ]    Cillian Murphy - The Dark Knight Rises
[ ]    Harry Dean Stanton - Marvel's The Avengers

Breakthrough Performance:

[ ]    Jared Gilman - Moonrise Kingdom
[ ]    Kara Hayward - Moonrise Kingdom
[ ]    Tom Holland - The Impossible
[ ]    Suraj Sharma - Life of Pi
[ ]    Quvenzhané Wallis - Beasts of the Southern Wild

Breakthrough Filmmaker:

[ ]    Stephen Chbosky - The Perks of Being a Wallflower
[ ]    Panos Cosmatos - Beyond the Black Rainbow
[ ]    Drew Goddard - The Cabin in the Woods
[ ]    Josh Trank - Chronicle
[ ]    Benh Zeitlin - Beasts of the Southern Wild

Cast:

[ ]    Argo
[ ]    The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel
[ ]    Cloud Atlas
[ ]    Django Unchained
[ ]    Flight
[ ]    Les Misérables
[ ]    Lincoln
[ ]    Marvel's The Avengers
[ ]    Seven Psychopaths
[ ]    Silver Linings Playbook

Scene:

[ ]    The Cabin in the Woods - Purging the system.
[ ]    The Grey - The plane crash.
[ ]    Marvel's The Avengers - Fighting the Chitauri in and above the streets of NY.
[ ]    Skyfall - Bond stalks and grapples Patrice in a Shanghai building.
[ ]    Zero Dark Thirty - Into the compound.

Quote:

[ ]     The Dark Knight Rises - "I am Gotham's reckoning, here to end the borrowed time you've all been living on."
[ ]     The Grey - "Once more into the fray. Into the last good fight I'll ever know. Live and die on this day. Live and die on this day."
[ ]     Lincoln - "Each of us has made it possible for the other to do terrible things."
[ ]     Marvel's The Avengers - "Puny god."
[ ]     Moonrise Kingdom - "I hope the roof flies off and I get sucked up into space."

Tagline:

[ ]     Argo - "The Movie Was Fake. The Mission Was Real."
[ ]     Casa de mi Padre - "Funniest Movie You'll Ever Read."
[ ]     Pitch Perfect - "Get Pitch Slapped."
[ ]     Seeking a Friend for the End of the World - "Nice Knowing You."
[ ]     Seven Psychopaths - "They Won't Take Any Shih Tzu."

Poster Art: (select link to view)

[ ]    The Amazing Spider-Man (Teaser)
[ ]    Beyond the Black Rainbow (One Sheet)
[ ]    The Cabin in the Woods (One Sheet)
[ ]    Chronicle (One Sheet)
[ ]    Killing Them Softley (One Sheet 11)
[ ]    The Master (Teaser)
[ ]    Moonrise Kingdom (One Sheet)
[ ]    Safety Not Guaranteed (One Sheet 2)
[ ]    Stand Up Guys (One Sheet)
[ ]    Zero Dark Thirty (Teaser)

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Most Underrated Film:

(Winner to be announced)

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"Grindhouse" Film Award:

Films that uphold the "Grindhouse" traditions of off-beat, exploitative, and taboo subjects, guerrilla filmmaking techniques, and unconventional narrative structures, without which filmmaking as a whole cannot move forward.

[ ]    Beyond the Black Rainbow
[ ]    Iron Sky
[ ]    The Man with the Iron Fists
[ ]    The Tall Man
[ ]    V/H/S

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Special Achievement Award:

(Winner to be announced)
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Again, thank you for your participation.

Please submit your votes by Monday February 18, 2013. The results will be posted soon thereafter.

- gARTh -

An open letter to the music industry...

What I have to say goes for everyone involved in the music industry, from the men that collect the checks at the labels all the way down to the lowly artists that create everything the business is built on. It is not for any one person that does any particular job, but just: everyone.

In this age of digital downloads (both by legal and illegal means, because let's be completely honest from here on out, and agree to disagree that the illegal downloading of music isn't going anywhere), music streaming, and the purchasing of songs and/or albums via internet connection, it has come to my frustrating attention that it is becoming harder and harder to find music. One would think this is a mistake, as I tend to, because how can that possibly be the case. There is more music at our fingertips than ever before (or so has been said), and yet if you search Google to listen to a song that is readily available to radio stations across the country/world, you have a pretty good chance that you aren't going to be able to listen to it. You'll find plenty of links to what you want to hear, but those links will be broken.

You're probably going to be given, first and foremost, a Youtube link, or dozens of them, depending on the popularity of your query. Those links will either not be the full song, just some 30 second clip similar to a track preview on Amazon.com to give you a small unsatisfying taste that will undoubtedly make you want to shell out $15-$20, or the links won't load because they've been taken down due to copyright claims (i.e. the song was illegally uploaded by someone not affiliated with it and therefore was taken down by the Record Label/Artist, etc.). Second on your search for music you'll be given the safer choice of listening to a streaming source via the wonders of internet radio. Last.fm, Pandora, and a plethora of podcasts and over-the-net cousins to actual radio stations give listeners the experience of listening to radio stations catering to the listener's tastes. The problem is, if you've ever used one of these, if you want to hear a certain song by a certain band, you can't. Just like radio has always been, you'll never catch the songs you really want to hear, and are instead going to be subjected to songs by other bands in whatever genre, or other songs by the band you were in fact looking for. The only difference between real radio and internet radio is the songs that they play, the ones you weren't looking for and didn't want to hear, can be skipped... or at least the first five can, and then you'll be notified that due to copyright laws you are only allowed to skip five songs in any one-hour period. The rest of the links on your Google search are to articles and music blogs that just link to one of the videos that popped up first. In other words, your search is already over.

So what do you do now?

You can cross that legal/illegal line and find it the good ol' fashioned way by downloading a torrent, although the origins of the torrent are probably from God-knows-where, and even then you have no idea what you're actually getting  until you download it and hit 'play' (because, let's face it, most people know jack shit about music, and songs and artists can easily be mislabeled by someone that has no idea what they're talking about. Like that time I thought I was getting a rare Ministry song and it turned out to be a song by Prong. By the way, if you don't know, those two bands sound nothing alike). Lots of people do the torrent thing, I personally do not. Too "iffy."

You could just purchase the song in question from a site like Amazon.com or iTunes, although just because the song is on the radio and is "available to listen to" does not mean it is available to purchase. And even if it is, some songs are iTunes exclusive, so if you don't use iTunes (like me) then you can't get it anyway, at least for a while (usually the exclusiveness runs its course and it'll eventually be available on other sites... eventually). All this aside, it seems like a lot to go through, searching for and purchasing a song that you just wanted to listen to.

Your third option, and the one I'm taking, is to do nothing, and instead write about everything wrong with the music industry's handling of their own merchandise in the internet age, and post it online with the nonexistent hope that someone might read it and fix the problems. (Okay, so it's more about venting than nobly trying to change the world... whatever).

The music industry is trying to sell music, right? However, they've become ever increasingly stringant on letting their consumers hear the music they have to sell beforehand. (This is nothing new, it's been getting worse and worse for the last decade). They don't allow sites to stream the song, for fear that someone will illegally grab it and therefore they'll lose money. They don't allow sites like Youtube to share it, because they view Youtube as a direct threat and quite possibly the biggest enemy of the music industry (when actually, in my opinion, it's the only thing saving it). They don't allow you to hear a single until there's an official video posted by VEVO or some other corporate internet alternative to what MTV used to be, or on the radio (which again, hope you have some time to kill, because it might be a while before your song is queued up).

When you order food through a drive-thru window at a fast-food restaurant, how often is it that your order is incorrect? Not all of the time, I'd hope, but it does happen more than it probably should. After the first few times, or maybe just the first depending on how forgiving you are, you learn to check your bag before you leave the line or at least leave the parking lot. You say to yourself, "I'm not going to chance getting all the way home and realizing that my food was cold/bad/wrong/prepared incorrectly, etc. Most people feel this way about music, too. You don't want to get to the final step of your journey of purchasing and getting home and opening it up and popping it in before you realize that there's a problem. The way the music industry works now, you wouldn't even have a very good idea of what the food even was on the fast-food menu. Just some vague idea that it's some kind of burger.

I realize this does not apply to every music artist. In fact, if you listen to the radio and don't hear a song by Rihanna or Lady Gaga or Nickelback, then I'm afraid that I have to inform you that you're deaf. I'm talking about the thousands upon thousands of other artists that aren't the "big thing right now." There are plenty of household name artists that aren't getting played and aren't getting promoted like they should. In fact, the song that inspired this rant is a brand new single by a big name artists that's the lead-off promoter to one of the biggest films of this upcoming summer season, and it boggles my mind to know that I cannot hear it online. With the billions of sites out there, I can probably find a cure for cancer in just a few clicks, but I can't hear a brand new single. I'll have to wait a month and buy it based on a 22 second clip, because every single option the music industry has given me has failed, and almost every single illegal one has been removed.

But, I will not buy it in a month or so. I will wait until it's old news and forgotten and then I'll pick it up cheap, quite easily, because they'll have moved on to making it frustrating for fans of another artist.

Now, about Youtube, because I want to clarify my statement before that it's the only thing saving the music industry. Despite the uploading of songs by users that do not own the copyright and therefore are not legally able to upload the material in question, and despite the music industry's attempts to stifle this out-of-control site that seems to spit in the faces of what they're trying to do (make as much money as possible while giving consumers as little as possible), it is the only place these days you can, possibly, listen to a song, in full, before you purchase an album without going through the radiowaves song by song until you get lucky and stumble across it. Youtube lets you type in a search and pull up a query and listen. Simple. The last time I bought an album at face value without knowing anything about it or hearing anything on it: 2002 or so. The last time I bought an album because I heard a song on the radio: I have no idea, but it would have to have been during the late 90's because I stopped listening to the radio for fear of my sanity. I don't know how many albums I've purchased because I've had Youtube as a source of music-finding, but it's a lot. And I will continue to do it for as long as that site is able to remain active. In fact, when I'm looking for music, I'll generally open up Amazon.com and search their music calendar and in another tab I'll open Youtube so I can hear a song or two as I go through Amazon's list. Youtube and purchasing albums go hand in hand, for me.

When a song is put on Youtube by a normal user, it's because that person is a fan of the song and the artist. Fans want to share the artist with others, to spread the word and get that song out there. That's what fans do. They share the love. What's wrong with that? If there is no viable alternative, as I've pointed out there is not, then the greatest asset to an artist (an artist that's not the flavor-of-the-week) is its fan promotion via Youtube. Where else is a fan supposed to go to hear new music from an artist they love? The official website? Please! Most aren't even updated regularly, and in fact lots of them are still promoting albums and news from several years ago. Their last.fm channel? It only plays songs by artists similar to that artist, not by that artist. iTunes and Amazon.com? Only if you can tell by a 20-30 second clip if you like a song, but generally all you hear is the intro and the clip fades out as the song is starting, or the clip is of some random part in the song that, taken out of context, leaves you wondering what you're even listening to. How about an official video, sanctioned by the record label and approved for mass distribution via the appropriate channels? All well and good, but most artists don't make music videos anymore because there's such a limited market for videos these days, and even the ones that do don't make them in a timely fashion to have it out when the single hits the radio. So by the time you finally get the video, you've probably already bought the album used somewhere for half-price.

Are some people going to exploit the Youtube video and find a way to illegally rip the audio so that they don't have to purchase the song? Yes. But people that want to steal music will find a way to do it. This hasn't changed. In fact, before the internet age, there was this hokey thing called "stealing from the store," also referred to in some circles as "the five-finger discount." Those were crazy times. The only thing that's changed is that the music industry has created an environment where the fans feel aggressive towards the labels, and therefore the artists, because the fans have been pushed around and over-charged and treated like shit for so many years, they feel like they're "owed" something, and that something happens to be the music. Polls have been done that show that most people illegally download music, if not always then at least on occasion. The polls also show that the number of people that think it's okay to illegally download music but don't think it's right to illegally download movies don't add up at all. Which means, people have a grudge against the music industry, not a clepto urge that needs to be satisfied. They just feel like the music should be free. Why? Because the music industry left the floodgates open a decade ago, and upon realizing their mistake decided to resort to extreme measures to stop the spreading behavior. This has only fueled people's feelings and allowed the behavior to take root. Good job, music industry! You created your own worst enemy in the very people you need to sustain your business.

And so now here I am, not listening to an available single because I don't use iTunes (it'll screw up my music library on my computer, if it didn't screw with my organizing then I would, but it does and so I don't), I don't listen to the radio, over-the-air or via internet (and when I do they never play the song I'm trying to hear, but a bunch of older songs), I don't download illegal torrents, and the record company has taken down all of the videos and every streaming player, video and audio, even the ones that at one point were officially posted by them. So instead, I'm bitching about things I hate about an industry that I don't think knows what it's doing, and how all of that affects me.

- gARTh -

Movies I Feel I've, Honestly, Watched the Most

There is no way to accurately account for the number of times I've watched a film, so this list was compiled by going through the films that I know that I watch constantly, good and bad, and placing them in an order that "feels right" to me. These are movies that I watch when I just want to watch something, anything, because there's nothing on TV. The ones that constantly play on TV, and every single time I have to stop and watch. The ones I go to for solace, comfort, or escape. The ones that have been with me the longest, because I discovered them at a young age and, to date, have never let go. There aren't going to be a lot of great films on this list, because most great films aren't easily watched, consecutively that is. This list has nothing to do with how much I like the movie, but just the sheer amount of entertainment I get out of it again and again and again. I know all the dialogue (or most of it, anyway), where and when I first saw it, and each has memory upon memory and story upon story evoked when just the title is mentioned. So... without any further ado... here's the list of films I've watched the most in my life thus far.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

1. The Crow
2. The Lost Boys
3. Batman
4. Ghostbusters
5. Big Trouble In Little China
6. The Princess Bride
7. Moulin Rouge!
8. Who Framed Roger Rabbit
9. Transylvania 6-5000
10. Labyrinth
11. The Monster Squad
12. Clue
13. Aladdin
14. Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope
15. The Goonies
16. Die Hard
17. Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom
18. Monty Python and the Holy Grail
19. Aliens
20. Beetlejuice
21. Back to the Future
22. Bram Stoker's Dracula
23. The Rocky Horror Picture Show
24. Conan: The Barbarian
25. Teen Wolf
26. Dazed and Confused
27. National Lampoon's Vacation
28. The Last Starfighter
29. Ghostbusters II
30. Willow
31. The Matrix
32. Stripes
33. Howard the Duck
34. Revenge of the Nerds
35. An American Werewolf in London
36. Real Genius
37. Terminator 2: Judgment Day
38. Ferris Bueller's Day Off
39. Jurassic Park
40. 12 Monkeys
41. Stand By Me
42. Predator
43. Darkman
44. The Neverending Story
45. Se7en
46. Spaceballs
47. True Romance
48. The Fugitive
49. Top Secret!
50. The Thing
51. Hackers
52. Total Recall
53. Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory
54. Fight Club
55. The Frighteners
56. Trading Places
57. Jaws
58. Tombstone
59. Time Bandits
60. Airplane!
61. Ace Ventura: Pet Detective
62. A Christmas Story
63. Pee-Wee's Big Adventure
64. UHF
65. The Big Lebowski
66. Meatballs
67. The Shining
68. The Naked Gun: From the Files of Police Squad!
69. Legend
70. The Three Amigos
71. Forrest Gump
72. Gremlins
73. The Blues Brothers
74. Rambo: First Blood Part II
75. Dirty Rotten Soundrels
76. The Adventures of Baron Munchausen
77. Mallrats
78. Evil Dead 2: Dead By Dawn
79. Clash of the Titans (1981)
80. Tommy Boy
81. The Fifth Element
82. Heavy Metal
83. Superman II
84. Independence Day
85. Hook
86. Dick Tracy
87. Parenthood
88. Troll 2
89. My Cousin Vinny
90. Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves
91. Demolition Man
92. Major League
93. Tank Girl
94. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
95. Shrek 2
96. Waxwork
97. Home Alone
98. Monsters, Inc.
99. Explorers
100. The 'Burbs

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- Honorable Mention:

1. Dark City
2. Good Will Hunting
3. High Fidelity
4. JFK
5. The Muppet Movie
6. Pulp Fiction
7. South Park: Bigger Longer & Uncut
8. Snatch
9. Trainspotting
10. The Usual Suspects

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- Movies That Will Be On the List Soon Enough:

1. The Brothers Bloom
2. The Departed
3. Grindhouse
4. King Kong
5. Lucky Number Slevin
6. Scott Pilgrim Vs. the World
7. Sherlock Holmes
8. Sin City
9. Speed Racer
10. Zombieland

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If any of you feel like trying this list, my advice is to be honest with yourself. I mean, there are plenty of movies that I'd claim as an absolute favorite, but as I started the list I realized to my dismay that I don't watch them often enough to warrant a place on this list. Most of the time, it was because I purposefully don't watch certain movies a lot so that I won't get tired of them. That's why there aren't a lot of Nolan or Tarantino movies on the list, why "The Shawshank Redemption" and "The Silence of the Lambs" are absent, and why Fincher's films aren't in my Top 10. Just be honest with yourself, and don't be afraid to include those embarrassing ones (like "Home Alone") that you know you've seen more times than you care to admit, whether you wanted to or not. It's about finding that balance of films you used to watch as a kid all the time and the ones that you've never outgrown and still watch. Or ones you've grown attached to as you've gotten older, or revisited and kept going back. Ask yourself, especially when it comes to films of the last decade, if you've really watched this newer film more than films from your childhood (it's harder the older you are). It's a hard list to attempt, but it's a lot of fun and worth the trip down memory lane you'll have once you can get it going.

This list is, in my opinion, one of the most personal lists I've come up with. It has nothing to do with how good the films are, in your eyes or anyone else's. It has nothing to do with anything other than your viewing habits, but those habits can tell a lot about a person. For instance, comedy is the genre that I don't tend to think of as a genre that is "me." I prefer darker, weirder, psychologically challenging films. Oddly enough, though, I realized that almost half of my list was comedies, so even though they aren't my all-time favorites I sure do watch them a lot. So in doing this list, I found out that I do, in fact, like watching comedies, despite what I previously had thought about my own viewing habits.

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed it. I'm currently finishing up a mammoth list right now with my brother Trey, so stay tuned for that one.

- gARTh -

The Worst Movies of 2000 - 2010

In honor of this past historic weekend at the box office, I present a list of a type that I normally don't do... one that's a tad bit negative. But what the hell, sometimes you've got to celebrate the bad so you can better appreciate the good, or something like that.

In case you're out of the movie loop, the box office history I speak of goes like this:

Two films, Bucky Larson: Born to Be a Star and Creature, debuted with two of the lowest opening weekend totals for wide releases in box office history. Bucky Larson is also the worst reviewed film of 2011 (so far, but I don't see anything on the horizon that might take that crown away) with a whopping 0% Rating on Rotten Tomatoes. Way to go Bucky! Creature on the other hand had what is being called the worst opening of all-time for a wide release. What's a wide release, you ask? Well, it means the producers of Creature were stupid enough to try to release the indie-creature feature on 1,507 screens across the country. For comparison, the indie-horror film Hatchet was released on 93 screens. So, when the numbers are crunched and data entered and the producers find out how much each theater made on their film over the weekend, they found that Creature made an average of $262 per theater... which is terrible. The film Hatchet, for example, had a $1,079 per theater average on its opening weekend. One site commented that a single row of people seeing a major release spend more than that on just their popcorn. So way to go Creature for not realizing that you're just a glorified Syfy movie, and instead trying to play in the big leagues! Nice job!

Anyway, the list below is for The Worst Movies of 2000 - 2010. This is not my opinion, this is fact. These films are the lowest rated and worst reviewed (and not just by professional critics, but by anyone that has shared their opinion on the matter) of them all. I've scraped the bottom of the barrell, and these films are what was left in the grime. None of them should really come as a surprise, although I found it interesting that a few notable bombs (such as Gigli) weren't as unliked as previously thought. I think that's because, and this is important, there's a big difference between a bad movie, or a poorly made movie, and a complete and utter disaster of a movie. I can sit through a bad movie, and in fact sometimes I enjoy watching them for the fun I have poking fun at them... but some movies are just unwatchably bad. The kind of movie you groan through rather that laugh at. The ones that give you a headache, make you scream obscenities at the screen like "Why the #$@& was this movie even made?!" or in some cases, make you fear for the very survival of our species.

So without any further ado, I bring you...

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The Worst Movies of 2000 - 2010:

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2010 - - Vampires Suck (Average Review Rating: 1.8 out of 10)

2009 - - Transylmania (Average Review Rating: 1.5 out of 10)

2008 - - The Hottie and the Nottie (Average Review Rating: 1.0 out of 10)
   
2007 - - Daddy Day Camp (Average Review Rating: 1.3 out of 10)

2006 - - Date Movie (Average Review Rating: 1.4 out of 10)

2005 - - Alone in the Dark (Average Review Rating: 1.1 out of 10)

2004 - - Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2 (Average Review Rating: 0.8 out of 10)

2003 - - House of the Dead (Average Review Rating: 1.3 out of 10)

2002 - - The Master of Disguise (Average Review Rating: 1.5 out of 10)

2001 - - Glitter (Average Review Rating: 1.4 out of 10)

2000 - - Battlefield Earth (Average Review Rating: 1.2 out of 10)

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A few additional comments, thoughts and ramblings about the list...

- Just because a lot of people hate Twilight doesn't mean that an endless barrage of infantile humor directed at the modern vampire craze is any better. In fact, I'd rather watch a bad movie and make fun of it myself than have a bunch of morons attempt to act out a farcical version of the bad movie. Now instead of just one bad movie, there's another really, really, really bad movie. Plus, the Twilight hatred is all a matter of opinion, because there are plenty of people that like the films, or at least can forgive the series for a few of its problems. There's no way the films make the kind of money they do without a wider fan base than just pre-teen girls. What if a bunch of girls were to make a parody film of The Dark Knight only because their boyfriends dragged them to see it, would that make for a good movie? I think not.

- Paris Hilton is not an actress. She's not even a celebrity for any real reason, other than she's from a rich family, and she shows some skin whenever it proves convenient for her. That's it. That's her life in a nutshell. Please stopping putting her in films. Thank you.

- The idea that grown men can't take care of kids used to be funny... back in 1983's Mr. Mom with Michael Keaton, for instance. Times have changed, and just as women now have a heel firmly planted in the workplace, so do men in the home. If a grown man in the 21st century doesn't know how to deal with taking care of a kid, then that man is an incompetent moron. Also, while we are on the subject of 80's films, the camp-comedy sub-genre is over, and the subject has been played out by many a Meatballs sequel. Camps today aren't the same, anyway. What I'm trying to say is, none of it's funny anymore, it's just embarrassing.

- These so-called parody films made by people who don't understand the difference between satire and just pointing at something and making fun of it, well, they don't work, have never worked, and should cease and desist immediately. If you're a director and your last name happens to be Zucker or Abrahams, you are no longer allowed to work on projects on your own. You either work as a group (where you always shined) or you take a hint from Mel Brooks and stay out of it from now on. Your recent films remind me of a parent trying to adopt the language of their kids to try to seem hip, all the while coming across as out-of--depth and completely misguided.

- Don't make sequels to films that themselves are of highly questionable quality. If a movie comes out that's not very good, but for some reason does okay and people forgive it a little because it has, for instance, cute kids or a talking dog or something, be glad you got that little bit of success out of your little turd. Please, don't confuse your luck, (which could have more to do with when your film came out, and what competition it had at the box office, than anything else), with having a film or idea that needs to be expanded upon. You might find that if you try to milk it, instead you create one of the worst monstrosities ever unleashed upon mankind, and then what will you have to say for yourself?

- Aging comic actors that used to be a hit and need desperately to stage a comeback should do so in small doses, like cameos or bit parts, before jumping head-first into a starring role. Try out the gags, get back into the timing, begin to feel it again like you used to. The worst mistake you could make would be to assume that you're just as funny as you used to be. What if you aren't?

- Pop-musicals about pop-stars starring pop-stars are corny and pretentious. Whether it be Glitter or the almost-on-the-list From Justin to Kelly, if a filmmaker wants to craft a story around a pop-star, take a cue from Curtis Hanson's 8 Mile and find the character and the meaning underneath the music and words, or if nothing else make sure there's a story to tell in the first place. If there's not, leave it be and let the pop-star remain just that.

- If you're going to create a multi-million dollar recruitment video for your religion that poses as entertainment, at least make sure it's well-made, tells some sort of cohesive story, has interesting characters that when they speak make some sort of point or sense, and doesn't paint your religion as idiotic, goofy, or flat-out bonkers. Otherwise, people may laugh at your religion, because they will think it, like the movie, is really stupid.

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- Special Achievement Award in Horrible Filmmaking: Producer/Writer/Director Uwe Boll.

Creating not one but two of the worst films of the last decade, and quite possibly of all-time, without any filmmaking skills, talent, creativity or vision. (He sure has persistence, though, I'll give him that). Boll has seemingly done the impossible, having had a directing career that has spanned 11 years and 21 films, and every single one of them is as bad as bad can get (both BloodRayne and In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale almost made the list). His films are sloppy and devoid of any value, and while there are brief mildly amusing aspects in his films (unintentionally humorous moments), as quickly as a smirk or giggle may come it is soon replaced with the knowledge that the film is going to kill some part of your soul if you continue to watch it.

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- The Worst Film of the Decade Award - 2000-2009: Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2 (2004)

With an average review rating of 0.8 out of 10, it came in the lowest of the low of the low. The final film from director Bob Clark (A Christmas Story, Porky's), this piece of $@#& should have been set on fire before it ever left the editing room. Universally damned by critics, it sits at the bottom of every list there is, and rightfully so. One critic noted that he'd "rather be tortured for twenty-years with searing iron than have to sit through even a minute of this again," while yet another claimed that, "It is perhaps the most incompetent and least funny comic film ever made." This is a failure of a movie on every level. Period. All those involved should not only be shamed of themselves, but have to perform some sort of community service to make it up to the people of the world.

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On a personal note, I'd like to point out that 7 of the 10 films that made the list are stupid comedies. I've told people plenty of times, when asked if I'm going to see some comedy film when it opens, that I don't go see many comedies in theaters. People are always weirded out, taken aback. It's not that I don't like comedies, it's that an abysmal comedy film is, in my opinion, the worst kind of bad movie.

Bad horror, action and sci-fi movies can still be fun, bad dramas are usually just dry, boring or brought down by bad acting, but aren't necessarily horrible all around, bad animated movies are usually just poorly made and overly corny or simplistic, but again aren't always horrible... But comedies, with the delicate balance of humor, possibly adding a helping of raunch without going too far, awkwardness without being too awkward, lines that have to not only further some basic story and character arc but also land a joke just right, it's very, very easy to fail miserably. Almost all of the films I went through when going through the bad films, on all the lists and all the critic's bottom choices and every Joe-Schmo bad movie site, were comedy films. That's why I don't go see them in theaters. I'll give them a chance on TV or DVD, where I can easily turn it off and try something else, but I have sometimes a greater than 50% chance going in to a theater that the film is gonna suck, despite who's making it, who wrote it, and who stars, and I don't like those odds.

So, in closing, the next time you're watching a stinker of a movie and you think to yourself, "Man, how much worse can this get?" just remember, you could be watching one of the movies on this list. I'll leave you with this: If you haven't seen one, a few, or all of these films... don't. Seriously. Don't take this as a list of films you should watch for any reason other than to die a little bit inside.

- gARTh -